But If Not...

Gratitude

2011-10-06T21:32:00.000-05:00

The other day I couldn't help but remember blessings that have been streaming into my life so I thought I would list a few:

- Family that is close in proximity and relationship
- Health
- Health of family
- Air conditioned car and home (this was especially true this summer)
- Car that runs and won't leave me stranded in the ghetto
- Job that doesn't require me to travel to the ghetto anymore
- Job where I can help people
- The Gospel (this encompasses a lot and what I am feeling most grateful for)
- Friends who understand my point of view
- Live in America, land of freedom
- Being a woman at this time with all the rights that accompany this time in the world
- Being a woman period.
- The freedom to have a blog and voice my opinions
- Pets. I love small creatures and appreciate having them around.
- My education. My time at BYU helped me solidify my testimony and opened doors. Earning my master's degree in psychology helped me develop emotionally and put me in a position where I can help others.
- The ability to involved politically in my community.
- Technology

What Matters Most

2011-09-28T10:45:00.001-05:00

I fell in love with this video. I was checking my facebook one last time before going to bed on 9/11/11. I had spent the day feeling a mixture of feelings ranging from sad to agitated to peaceful. I was all over the place emotionally that day. And a relative posted this video. As I watched it, my frustrations melted away and I was reminded that it's okay to laugh, smile, and be grateful to be alive. It's important to remember what matters most.

Peace

2011-09-21T10:43:00.001-05:00

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." - John 14:27

The Reality of Faith

2011-09-14T22:14:00.001-05:00

I stumbled across Elder Richard G. Scott's talk, "The Sustaining Powers of Faith in Times in Uncertainty and Testing." And if ever there was a time that we were in times of uncertainty, now was it. I find that when I take these principles into action, my faith is increased and I am filled with joy. When I don't, confusion surrounds me.

"...never doubt the reality of faith. You will gather the fruits of faith as you follow the principles God has established for its use.

Some of those principles are:

• Trust in God and in His willingness to provide help when needed, no matter how challenging the circumstance.

• Obey His commandments and live to demonstrate that He can trust you.

• Be sensitive to the quiet prompting of the Spirit.

• Act courageously on that prompting.

• Be patient and understanding when God lets you struggle to grow and answers come a piece at a time over an extended period."

Reminder of Faith

2011-09-13T22:03:00.001-05:00

“Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” - Hebrews 11:1

"Only when our faith is aligned with the will of our Heavenly Father will we be empowered to receive the blessings we seek." - Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin October 2002 Conference

“Faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.” - Ether 12:6

9/11

2011-09-11T10:38:00.000-05:00

September 11, 2001 - I was at home in Provo, Utah and my older sister (and roommate) received a call stating that a plane flew into a building in NYC. She and I couldn't get it on tv so we rushed up to BYU campus. I had to work so I ran from building to building, watching the televisions in various buildings with what seemed like all of campus. I arrived at work and stood with dozens of students crammed into a lobby of the business building of campus and watched in horror what occurred. My younger sister was working in the same building and ran to my work with horror on her face as she said the pentagon was hit - we had an uncle that worked in the pentagon. We ran back to the lobby and watched and prayed and waited. Later, BYU held a prayer meeting and the building was packed. We cried and prayed. I felt like my heart broke that day. My uncle lived but so many didn't.

What I choose to think of today are the brave men and women who fought back on the flight in Pennsylvania. I think of the firefighters, police, paramedics, civilians, preachers, and so on that ran in to save those who were trapped.

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." - John 14:27

Love Is

2011-09-05T21:52:00.001-05:00

What a great video! Love is good. Binding. Eternal.

Good Things To Come

2011-08-31T21:47:00.003-05:00

I am pretty sure I have posted this video before but I had to post it again. It's one of my favorites. I sure love Elder Holland and his reminder that good things are to come. Stay with it. Have faith and be believing.

"Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come till heaven. But for those who embrace the Gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. It will be alright in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come."

Girl America To The Rescue!

2011-08-28T21:28:00.001-05:00

Life is interesting. One moment, you're blissful and content, the next you're in the throws of sadness and confusion. It's not that I am bipolar or anything, it's just that every so often, my buttons get pushed. Lately that button has been the "why am I not married with kids" button. And it's come at a weird time. I have been so grateful for my life - good job, close friends and family, church, callings, hobbies...everything is good. And then out of nowhere it seemed, my button got pushed.

I called my friend Girl America and poured out my heart and soul. (As an aside, one of the things I love about my friendship with Girl America is that I can call and say "my world is falling apart" or "my heart is broken" and we start the conversation there. We don't have to spend 30 minutes working our way into a conversation.) Anyway, one of the things I love about Girl America is her constant connection with the Gospel. She immediately recognized that Satan, or as she calls him, Uncle Lui (Loui, Lewey...not sure how she spells it) was whispering in my ear and hopping up and down all over my insecurities. She was 100% correct and after a few tears, I had regained my perspective. I have a good life. I have been blessed. My Heavenly Father loves and blesses me. And I will be faithful no matter what, even if things don't happen in my own time.

The blessings of the Gospel are true. You can ignore them or run from them but the truth of the matter is if you are faithful and endure to the end, Heavenly Father will bless you. Heartache in this life due to sin and missteps can be avoided. Eternal joy is possible. Sometimes I just have to be reminded. :)

Pioneer Woman

2011-08-26T21:23:00.000-05:00

I have fallen in love with a new blog, The Pioneer Woman. Ree is amazing. I love reading about how her entire life was flipped upside down by the love of her love and she went from city gal to country woman. It's a great blog...check it out!

Surviving

2011-07-31T15:00:00.001-05:00

I know I have said this before, but I love Stephanie Nielson. She is the blogger who suffered severe burns in an airplane accident. What I appreciate about Stephanie, or NieNie as she is called, is that she is surviving. While she survived the plane wreck, on a daily basis she has to make decisions about whether or not she will continue to survive and so it becomes an action verb...surviving. I read this post and was reminded how simple and easy my life is.

Happy Pioneer Day!

2011-07-25T02:36:00.000-05:00

Happy Pioneer Day! What a great opportunity to celebrate the sacrifice of wonderful people who have gone before! Pioneers, whether or not they are related by blood, are related by belief. Because of early pioneer efforts, my church family has grown.

My mom was also a convert to the Gospel and has been a modern-day pioneer. I think of President Hinckley's talk on not being the weak link... I am grateful all the pioneer's sacrifices, which were great.

Awake, My Soul!

2011-07-19T23:29:00.001-05:00

While watching Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's talk, Place No More For The Enemy of My Soul, several thoughts came to mind and I desired to share them.

- The first thing that struck me was how much Elder Holland loves his Savior and the people of this church. This message in particular, shows his passion and love. He is pleading with us to make good choices. He refers to unwanted thoughts as "rascals," which I loved.

- I was struck by how much power righteous children of Heavenly Father have, especially when living worthy of having the Holy Ghost. On a daily basis, I do not think of myself as powerful. I go through my life, day by day, and accomplish the tasks set before me, but rarely do I think of myself as a powerful woman. Imagine superman walking through the world as Clark Kent, having a desire to save others but not knowing his real potential. I was reminded that as children of a loving Heavenly Father, we have endowed powers. If worthy, we can have the Holy Ghost with us always and spread light and life where we trod. When we feel insignificant, it is Satan using the tools at his disposal to chip away at the greatness of our inheritance. We are more than we think we are. If I can remember that, every decision of my day will be better.

- The final thing that hit me is that I need to make sure that each place I am needs to be a place He could be. If the Spirit cannot dwell in my home or be with me throughout my day, I should change how I live. As I listened to Elder Holland, I found myself evaluating the media of my day. Do the shows I watch or music I listen to invite the Spirit?

How grateful I am for a loving Heavenly Father who loves me and wants me to return home to Him. I love the leaders of the Church and appreciate the sacrifice they make to spread the Gospel. I pray to live the life my Father would have me live.

“Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.” (2 Ne. 4:28)

Watch Your Step - A Pleading Based In Love

2011-07-18T01:16:00.000-05:00

I loved this video and the pleading in Elder Holland's voice. It reminded me of how much Heavenly Father loves us and has given us choice. Satan can tempt us but we have the right to choose. What a wonderful gift from a loving Father in Heaven. May we make choices that lead us home, even in the midst of the but if nots of life.

Not Alone

2011-07-08T01:17:00.001-05:00

One lesson that has become clear over the past month or so is that I am not alone. Sometimes as a single gal, I feel misunderstood which leads to feelings of loneliness. I have been blessed with a wonderful ward filled with sisters from all walks of life. It is a good reminder that there are many different types of heartaches that occur that can lead a woman to feel alone - never married, widowed, divorced, unable to bear children, losing a child...the list goes on and on. What is so important to remember is that a person's life circumstance does not define them. And when someone labels themselves and holds to the label, they can miss out on so much of life.

Soon I will be moving and leaving the ward I love so dearly. I am grateful for the remembrance of this lesson so that as I enter my new "family," I can focus on the person not the title. As I do so, I believe Heavenly Father will bless me to see each person for who they are.

Missed!

2011-07-06T13:14:00.000-05:00

Aaahhhh blog, I have missed you. I know I stray from your periodically as life gets crazy but this last absence was too long. Now that the virus has left the computer, I hope to visit you more often. :)

Happy Indepedence Day!

2011-07-04T10:34:00.001-05:00

Happy 4th of July! What a wonderful day! I am so grateful for opportunity to live in this land of freedom and liberty. Each year on this day, I read the first chapter in 2 Nephi, which talks about the promises of this country and serves as a warning if we turn away from our Father in Heaven. I have included some of the verses below. May our Heavenly Father be with those in harms way defending our freedoms this day.

And now it came to pass that after I, Nephi, had made an end of teaching my brethren, our father, Lehi, also spake many things unto them, and rehearsed unto them, how great things the Lord had done for them in bringing them out of the land of Jerusalem.
2And he spake unto them concerning their rebellions upon the waters, and the mercies of God in sparing their lives, that they were not swallowed up in the sea.
3And he also spake unto them concerning the land of promise, which they had obtained—how merciful the Lord had been in warning us that we should flee out of the land of Jerusalem.
4For, behold, said he, I have seen a vision, in which I know that Jerusalem is destroyed; and had we remained in Jerusalem we should also have perished.
5But, said he, notwithstanding our afflictions, we have obtained a land of promise, a land which is choice above all other lands; a land which the Lord God hath covenanted with me should be a land for the inheritance of my seed. Yea, the Lord hath covenanted this land unto me, and to my children forever, and also all those who should be led out of other countries by the hand of the Lord.
6Wherefore, I, Lehi, prophesy according to the workings of the Spirit which is in me, that there shall none come into this land save they shall be brought by the hand of the Lord.
7Wherefore, this land is consecrated unto him whom he shall bring. And if it so be that they shall serve him according to the commandments which he hath given, it shall be a land of liberty unto them; wherefore, they shall never be brought down into captivity; if so, it shall be because of iniquity; for if iniquity shall abound cursed shall be the land for their sakes, but unto the righteous it shall be blessed forever.
8And behold, it is wisdom that this land should be kept as yet from the knowledge of other nations; for behold, many nations would overrun the land, that there would be no place for an inheritance.
9Wherefore, I, Lehi, have obtained a promise, that inasmuch as those whom the Lord God shall bring out of the land of Jerusalem shall keep his commandments, they shall prosper upon the face of this land; and they shall be kept from all other nations, that they may possess this land unto themselves. And if it so be that they shall keep his commandments they shall be blessed upon the face of this land, and there shall be none to molest them, nor to take away the land of their inheritance; and they shall dwell safely forever.

10But behold, when the time cometh that they shall dwindle in unbelief, after they have received so great blessings from the hand of the Lord—having a knowledge of the creation of the earth, and all men, knowing the great and marvelous works of the Lord from the creation of the world; having power given them to do all things by faith; having all the commandments from the beginning, and having been brought by his infinite goodness into this precious land of promise—behold, I say, if the day shall come that they will reject the Holy One of Israel, the true Messiah, their Redeemer and their God, behold, the judgments of him that is just shall rest upon them.
11Yea, he will bring other nations unto them, and he will give unto them power, and he will take away from them the lands of their possessions, and he will cause them to be scattered and smitten.
12Yea, as one generation passeth to another there shall be bloodsheds, and great visitations among them; wherefore, my sons, I would that ye would remember; yea, I would that ye would hearken unto my words.

13O that ye would awake; awake from a deep sleep, yea, even from the sleep of hell, and shake off the awful chains by which ye are bound, which are the chains which bind the children of men, that they are carried away captive down to the eternal gulf of misery and woe.
14Awake! and arise from the dust, and hear the words of a trembling parent, whose limbs ye must soon lay down in the cold and silent grave, from whence no traveler can return; a few more days and I go the way of all the earth.
15But behold, the Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell; I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love.
16And I desire that ye should remember to observe the statutes and the judgments of the Lord; behold, this hath been the anxiety of my soul from the beginning.
17My heart hath been weighed down with sorrow from time to time, for I have feared, lest for the hardness of your hearts the Lord your God should come out in the fulness of his wrath upon you, that ye be cut off and destroyed forever;

18Or, that a cursing should come upon you for the space of many generations; and ye are visited by sword, and by famine, and are hated, and are led according to the will and captivity of the devil.
19O my sons, that these things might not come upon you, but that ye might be a choice and a favored people of the Lord. But behold, his will be done; for his ways are righteousness forever.
20And he hath said that: Inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land; but inasmuch as ye will not keep my commandments ye shall be cut off from my presence.

To Be Who We Are Supposed To Be

2011-07-03T15:35:00.001-05:00

Wow, it has been a long time since I last wrote. My computer caught a virus and it's taken me this long to get it fixed. I procrastinate things I don't understand and something I don't understand well is computers. :)

The lesson in Relief Society today was amazing. It was based on a talk of Elder Maxwell's that discusses foreordination. The point the teacher was making was that there is a role that we have been foreordained to do. Our job is not to look at other's roles and be envious or to try and be something we are not, but rather, to be the best version of who Heavenly Father wants us to be. As we do, HE will plug us into the roles that are best for us. This hit me hard because I have been suffering a little from the green monster - envy. This last week, I was feeling like other people were just so much more advantaged than me in a number of areas - money, marriage, looks, opportunities, etc. As a way to shake it, I have been counting my blessings. The lesson learned through this experience is that I don't know that I will be my version of perfection because what I see is not the full picture. What I pray for is that I can become who Heavenly Father needs me to be. And only at the end of this existence will I see the full tapestry, as President Monson would say. So, in the meantime, I will take step after step, confident in my faith and counting my blessings, like health, family, and wildflowers.

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-08T15:48:00.000-05:00

Happy Mother's Day! What a wonderful tradition of pausing to celebrate such an important eternal role. Motherhood encompasses so much...from bearing children, to providing solace and comfort, to teaching and raising aright. I am grateful for all of the mothers in my life. My mother has given and sacrificed much for me and I am eternally grateful. To those who are mothers around me - thank you for your wonderful example of love, patience, kindness, and dutifulness. I have been blessed to have so many wonderful mothers around me throughout my life. From my own sweet mom to the woman my mom would trust in her place. To good friends and family. And now I watch my sister be a mom and I am amazed. What a blessing it has been to have Sister Dew articulate the truth that all women, whether or not they have children, can be mothers and provide support, love, and teaching moments to the next generation.

So thank you mothers. Your role is of eternal importance. Thank you for choosing life!

LDS.org

2011-04-20T23:40:00.001-05:00

This week I have been feeling grateful for lds.org. I am sure this seems like an odd thing to be grateful for but it is my homepage on my computer. Everytime I log on, I am greeting with gorgeous images tied to articles that serve as reminders of why I am here. I am just grateful to have such a positive reminder each time I log on.

B-day Pics

2011-04-17T23:21:00.001-05:00

So I know it's a little late but here are some pics from my bday. I sure love my family...they are so cute!

It was a yummy spread! Lil sausages, queso, cheese & meat, crackers, veggies, lil sandwiches

Fondue and yummy orange water!

Sweet little puppy. I love her so much! She looks like a fox here. She's not, but she's so cute!

My Whole Foods cake! I love WFs! The cake is made with organic

ingredients and eggs from cage-free birds.

We played silly games, each of which I won, and my reward for each win was a present. My fam rocks!

Lisa had her birthday celebration a few days later and we went to a Russian restaurant and bath. We didn't do the bath part, but it was certainly a cultural experience! There was a part of the business (in between the bath and restaurant) where I swear the Russians were planning a takeover. They speak with such passion and the language is so harsh, it probably just seemed like a war party. :) Shoes (my bro-in-law) and Lisa have the same b-day so we celebrated his birthday by babysitting Miles so that Heidi and Shoes could go away for a weekend.

Gratitude

2011-04-12T09:06:00.000-05:00

Today is such a beautiful day! Sun shinning, cool breeze, spending time with my mom and her puppy...it's just perfect. I am grateful for days like today.

Birthday Surprise

2011-03-21T00:44:00.000-05:00

Let me set the scene. I was turning 23. I was still in college, was unmarried, and had not served a mission. I felt like a loser and the last thing I wanted to do in the world was celebrate my birthday. I am usually very excited about birthdays but I let it be known, no parties, no dinners, no celebrations of any kind were to be had. Enter my sisters.

My sisters decided that they would throw a surprise party but not a birthday party. It was a cheese party (because they know I love cheeses) and it was great. They had a friend take me out for a few hours and when I returned, they had me change into a fancy dress. I came out and they were all dressed fancily for my cheese party. We played games and I miraculously won every game. For each game won, I received a "prize" (really a present). They were so creative in finding a way to celebrate me without focusing on my age. I love my sisters and am so grateful for them and their support. What a blessing for me to live so close to them and have their friendship.

This year for my birthday, my family gave me another surprise cheese party. I don't have the age baggage I had the first time but it was a great surprise with my whole family present. I am so grateful for the knowledge that families are forever and so blessed to be in my family!!!

All Is Well! All Is Well!

2011-03-13T15:49:00.005-05:00

This has been an interesting few weeks as I have studied adversity. I can't think of a better way to bookend this thought process than to include the lyrics of a favorite hymn.

Come, come, ye Saints, no toil nor labor fear;
But with joy wend your way.
Though hard to you this journey may appear,
Grace shall be as your day.
’Tis better far for us to strive
Our useless cares from us to drive;
Do this, and joy your hearts will swell—
All is well! All is well!

Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard?
’Tis not so; all is right.
Why should we think to earn a great reward
If we now shun the fight?
Gird up your loins; fresh courage take.
Our God will never us forsake;
And soon we’ll have this tale to tell—
All is well! All is well!

We’ll find the place which God for us prepared,
Far away in the West,
Where none shall come to hurt or make afraid;
There the Saints will be blessed.
We’ll make the air with music ring,
Shout praises to our God and King;
Above the rest these words we’ll tell—
All is well! All is well!

And should we die before our journey’s through,
Happy day! All is well!
We then are free from toil and sorrow, too;
With the just we shall dwell!
But if our lives are spared again
To see the Saints their rest obtain,
Oh, how we’ll make this chorus swell—
All is well! All is well!

Text: William Clayton, 1814–1879
Music: English folk song

Response to Adversity, cont.

2011-03-11T23:34:00.003-06:00

Still thinking how we are supposed to respond to trials and tribulations. I was re-reading the talk that inspired this blog and felt impressed to share the last little bit of it (for the full talk, click here).

"What does the Lord expect of us with respect to our challenges? He expects us to do all we can do. He does the rest. Nephi said, "For we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do."
We must have the same faith as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego.

Our God will deliver us from ridicule and persecution, but if not. . . . Our God will deliver us from sickness and disease, but if not . . . . He will deliver us from loneliness, depression, or fear, but if not. . . . Our God will deliver us from threats, accusations, and insecurity, but if not. . . . He will deliver us from death or impairment of loved ones, but if not, . . . we will trust in the Lord.

Our God will see that we receive justice and fairness, but if not. . . . He will make sure that we are loved and recognized, but if not. . . . We will receive a perfect companion and righteous and obedient children, but if not, . . . we will have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, knowing that if we do all we can do, we will, in His time and in His way, be delivered and receive all that He has. I so testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

A tall order but not impossible.

Example of Overcoming Adversity

2011-03-09T00:58:00.001-06:00

I saw this and had to post it. An amazing example of overcoming the sting of adversity. People are amazing. Love is binding. Life is eternal.

"A Son asked his father, "Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?" The father who, despite having a heart condition, says "Yes". They went on to complete the marathon together. Father and son went on to join other marathons. The father always saying "Yes" to his son's request of going through the race together. One day, the son asked his fater, "Dad, let's join the Ironman together."

To which, his father said "Yes".
For those who don't know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86 kilometer) ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile (180.2 kilometer) bike ride and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195 kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island.

Father and son went on to complete the race together!"

Stephanie Nielson's Adversity Response

2011-03-07T16:01:00.003-06:00

As a follow up to the adversity post, I was thinking again about Stephanie Nielson. I think of her often when I think of adversity. She is the sister who was in a plane crash with her husband and a flight instructor when the plane crashed. The instructor was killed and she and her husband were burned severely. Stephanie was burned on 80% of her body and has had all sorts of surgeries since then. I am amazed as I read her blog and hear how she handles her trials and struggles...her but if not moments. (Click here to watch the video she taped with the Church to share her story.)

I am grateful that we have a loving and kind Heavenly Father who provides us opportunities to learn and grow in this life. And through every trial, around every tribulation, He is there. We are not left alone. I know this to be true. Just as I know the sun will rise in the morning, I know our Heavenly Father is there. And I am grateful.

Responding To Adversity

2011-03-06T15:35:00.001-06:00

"As part of Heavenly Father's plan of redemption, all people experience adversity during their lifetime. Trials, disappointments, sadness, sickness, and heartache are a difficult part of life, but with the help of the Lord they can lead to spiritual growth, refinement, and progress.
Each person's success and happiness, both now and in the eternities, depend largely on his or her responses to the difficulties of life" (from lds.org - topic search "adversity").

So if our success and happiness depends upon how we respond to adversity, how do we respond in a way that will help us be successful?

"Different kinds of adversity require different responses. For example, people who are stricken with illness may simply need to be patient and faithful. People who suffer because of others' words or actions should work toward forgiving those who have offended them. Victims of abuse should seek help immediately. If a person's trials come because of disobedience, he or she should correct the behavior and humbly seek forgiveness.

Although some of the responses to adversity will vary, one response should be constant—trust in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. The prophet Alma taught, “Whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day” (Alma 36:3). See also Forgiveness; Hope; Peace; Plan of Salvation; Repentance"

Just something that's interesting to think about...how to show faith in trial and tribulation.

Where Much Is Given

2011-03-02T10:23:00.001-06:00

I have been thinking lately about Luke 12:48 where it states, "For unto whomsoever much is given, much is required." As a person who has been born in America, into the Gospel, into a family with two parents that have been together 35 years, I have been given much. I have been wondering what is required to my world family. What contribution to society should I be making with all that I have been given? I am not sure of the answers yet...just doing some ponderings.

Finding Joy

2011-02-23T00:04:00.001-06:00

I have been thinking lately about all of the blessings in my life that I am able to enjoy at this time and season.

My older sister's kitty is so sweet. Her name is Jezebel but we call her Kiki. This is her on her ladybug. So sweet. While I don't any pets myself, everyone in my family does so I am always around sweet little ones.

I've taken a lot of cool trips over the past few years. My older sister and I went to Hawaii, France, camped in the "mountains" of Oklahoma, visited San Antonio, Washington D.C., and several beaches along the Texas shoreline (Padre, South Padre, Mustang Island, etc.)

I've started doing hobbies that I've always been interested in like photography and cooking. Spanish classes are my next step, I think.

Politics has always been a passion of mine but the past year, I have become much more active. I've attended several conventions, rallies, etc., volunteered for campaigns, and tried to become more informed. This is Mitt Romney at CPAC.

So, all in all, life is good. Still not what I thought it would be, but I have been richly blessed!

Snow Days!

2011-02-22T23:37:00.000-06:00

Down here in Texas, we are not used to snow and ice. We don't even have snow plows. This year, we had a few days where we ended up with inches of snow and ice on the ground. With no salt or snow plows, it shut things down a little.

I love this pic! It's totally Texas. Hay bales in a field right in the

middle of homes, apartments, and businesses.

This is my mom's precious dog that I love as though she were human. Hi Sunny! She was cold!

Watch For Ye Know Neither the Day Nor the Hour

2011-02-19T23:26:00.000-06:00

Do you ever feel like the world is coming to an end? Everywhere I look, people are fighting, countries are uprising, and the economy is unstable. Here in Texas, we had some freak ice storms that shut everything down for a few days. I am afraid a time of great suffering is at hand and I am feeling like the one of the ten virgins with her candle only half filled with oil. In evaluating my food and water storage, I am grossly under prepared. My savings is not where it needs to be. My hope is that those ice storms were an opportunity to awaken and correct. I am grateful for the scriptures that help to remind us of our eternal nature and keep us heading due north.

"Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh."
Matt 25:13

Enjoying Life

2011-02-18T23:24:00.000-06:00

This last weekend, I attended a political convention in Washington D.C. It was fantastic! One of my sisters and I went and got involved and had a great time. It was such a great experience and part of my goal to experience life more fully and enjoy my place in life.

SNOW Day!

2011-02-02T15:41:00.000-06:00

This is the second snow day I have been able to enjoy...little work and lots of family. It's been great! Yesterday I was with my parents and thinking I would have to work today, I stupidly attempted to travel the 45 miles or so to my house. Didn't happen. I made 30 of those miles and hunkered down at my sister's house where I have been playing with my nephew and eating yummy food.

Days like today leave me feeling grateful for a home to live in, heat that works, and food to eat. I have been thinking and praying for those without those three necessities. My boss has already informed me that tomorrow we are all expected to be at work so this is my last day to enjoy all the laying around. :) But, I am grateful for employment so off I will go whistling a happy tune while I slip and slide my way into the office tomorrow.

Discoveries

2011-01-31T22:27:00.000-06:00

I discovered the other day that I was a microwave chef. Most of my food is cooked, heated, or reheated in the microwave. So I am taking strides to learn to cook well the old-fashioned way - stove and oven. :)
I have never been much of a cook anyway. There are some dishes I do well but nothing to write home about. So I have been on a mission to learn to cook. So far, it has gone fairly well. I have made baked brie, peanut butter balls, the best green bean wraps you've ever had, salmon en papillote, BBQ chicken, chili, and so on. It's been so much fun to experiment, find new recipes, and eat yummy food. My sister has recently started selling Pampered Chef so I get to buy new equipment, too. What's great about her PC parties is that someone shows me how to use the equipment. For novices like me, that's always a plus.

For me, part of this but if not concept is not just choosing to have faith in the unexpected circumstances but to live, grow, and thrive, if appropriate. For now, that means doing things I haven't had the time or inclination to in the past, like cooking, trying new things, etc. I am excited to see where this will take me. What new things are you discovering you love, even though you may be in a but if not season of your life?

Lizz....ecca???

2011-01-30T14:07:00.000-06:00

To celebrate moving into the second year of blogging, I've decided to make a few changes to the blog.
You may have noticed a few new buttons and a change in background. Another, more significant change is the name of the author of the blog. I've had this blog be anonymous, under then name Lizzie, because I felt a little embarrassed that this transition into my 30s was so hard. Somehow not using my name made expressing that easier. But, in the words of a friend, it is what it is. I am coming out of the blogging closet. :)

My name is Rebecca, not Lizzie. PHEW! That was hard! So if you see random references to Lizzie, well, that's why. Lizzie, btw, was used because as a little girl, I thought my name should have been Elizabeth. I love my actual name but went through a period of time where I struggled to adjust to the fact that my name was Rebecca. That represents the adjustment I've been going through moving wards, identities, and so on. So thanks for your understanding and here's to year 2...may it be great!

Year Anniversary

2011-01-29T21:45:00.000-06:00

Can you believe it's been over a year since this blog was started???
I first began to write as a way to work out my feelings with leaving the young single adult scene and figure out how to navigate the new single adult waters. I can honestly say that life is good. I love my ward, have great callings, have started attending single's activities, and find my testimony still in tact. SUCCESS! :) Thanks for taking this journey with me!

Oh, THAT'S Why I'm Still Single

2010-10-20T00:19:00.000-05:00

Do you ever have moments and you think, "oh, THAT'S why I'm single!" I had one of those this past week.
I was talking with a guy that I was interested in and he was giving signs that he might be interested. Then my mind went crazy. I had two friends get married within 24 hours and marriage was on the brain and as we talked I started asking crazy questions in my head like: "I wonder if he has been married." "Does he have any kids?" "What do I say if he asks me out?" I got all caught up in my head that I forgot to pay attention to the actual conversation. Anyway, I got anxious and got the heck out of Dodge and then thought to myself, that's why. But, I remember that there are times and seasons in my life. I have had times where I am really social and getting to know lots of guys and then there are times when I seem to focus on other things. I have been in a time where I have needed to focus on other things so I am just a little rusty. SO I decided I needed to be more active in the single's scene. I've gone to 2 singles events in 2 weeks (which is a big deal for me) and am planning more. I guess it's time for me to grow up a little. The lesson I learned from this experience: I need to focus more on what Heavenly Father needs me to do and how I can help others be comfortable and spend a little less time in my head.

Hearing His Will

2010-09-05T10:39:00.000-05:00

So the first step of the but if not concept is coming to terms with the fact that things are not as you thought they would be and deciding to follow Christ regardless.
The second step is determining how to know what He would have you to do instead. This can be challenging and you are still dealing with the loss of something desired or loved. This can make hearing the spirit difficult. This has been on my mind after watching the LDS vid on Forgiveness. This is a pretty powerful video where Chris Williams discusses losing his wife and children in a car accident and the process of forgiving the drunk driver who took their lives. He certainly experienced something he had not desired or wanted but has chosen to follow Christ through the process. It makes me think of the 17 year-old driver who caused the accident. I find myself wondering how he is doing. Surely, he never would have taken part in the events that led to that night had he known the outcome. And now that it has happened, how can he turn this into a but if not time. I think the key is turning to the Savior and asking what He desires us to do now that life is not as we thought it would be. Then listening and following through with His will. This makes learning to hear His word paramount. It also means reducing distractions. I find that I will try to create distractions at the times I most need to speak and listen to my Father. It's my version of running away from home, I guess. So maybe that will be another blog for another time...

Tapping Heaven

2010-07-25T01:03:00.000-05:00

Every so often, I feel as though heaven is tapping on my heart.
You know that painting of the door with Christ on the side of the door with no handle. Sometimes the door to my heart is closed and heaven taps on that door. Often, I am unaware that my heart had been closed until I feel the taps and am reminded that I am a daughter of a Father who loves and knows me. The Spirit whispers truth and I am changed. While it is our job to let Christ into our lives, I am grateful for the gentletapping. Good-Things-to-Come

Timing...

2010-06-27T20:42:00.000-05:00

"Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come." -Jeffrey R. Holland

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-20T11:26:00.000-05:00

Happy Father's Day everyone!!

Flying Solo...

2010-06-12T09:43:00.000-05:00

I recently have been thinking of a life-changing moment that occurred a few years ago. I had finished graduate school and was taking some much-needed respite by staying with my sister in Salt Lake. I was trying to figure out my next step, feeling a bit alone, and then found out that an ex-boyfriend was having a baby.
I was not sad that we weren't together but just a little jealous and wishing I had a husband and children. (As an aside, we all have different dating histories...some people let "the one" go, some haven't found someone that they would want to be with for eternity. I fall in the latter category. I am grateful for the relationships I have had but am not sad to have lost any of them. They were not the right person for me. BUT it doesn't mean I don't wish I had found the right person.) Anyway, I was thinking back on what my life would have been like if I had stayed with this particular ex and then heard the song "Defying Gravity" from Wicked... and burst into tears.

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap

It's time to try Defying gravity
I think I'll try Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down...

I'm through accepting limits
'Cuz someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But 'till I try, I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love - I guess I have lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost

I'd sooner buy Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down...

... So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky
As someone told me lately
Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly

And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me

Tell them how I am Defying gravity
I'm flying high Defying gravity ...

There were a lot of meaningful parts of that song that helped me feel empowered. What hit me the most about the lyrics was a phrase towards the end, "and if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free." I may not have certain blessings in my life right now but I have been amply blessed nonetheless. Heavenly Father has actively helped me not to make a poor choice in the marriage department. I have no regrets on those past choices. And something did change within me. Now when I think back, I just remember the bounty of blessings. I never would have obtained my master's degree had I been married. I would not be able to serve my family to the capacity that I currently do. I have many opportunities at my job that I am grateful for and Heavenly Father has used me to help people in ways I never would have. Eternal marriage is still the goal but Heavenly Father has richly blessed me. To be looking at the grass on the other side and thinking it's greener would be a show of ingratitude and that causes me to not recognize the gorgeous lawn I have on my side. And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free

Until We Meet Again

2010-06-09T10:18:00.000-05:00

Angels Round About You To Bear You Up

2010-06-08T00:00:00.000-05:00

"And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up."
(Doctrine and Covenants 84:88) I guess I am just thinking tonight how appreciative I am that Heavenly Father knows and loves us. He is there for us. He will protect us and help us on our paths. We are never alone for He is with us always. If we do not feel Him near, all we have to do is ask. The handle is on our side of the door and He is always waiting.

Family History

2010-06-06T18:03:00.000-05:00

So I had a realization the other day.
As members, we actively seek our our ancestors and strive to ensure their temple work is completed. Typically, we go back in our direct lineage and do the work for those ancestors. I was hit with the thought, "what about the babies?" If work is done for those with posterity, those without posterity could get left behind or fall through the cracks. Not on purpose, mind you, as we are all seeking to complete the work, but out of the fact that there was no posterity to specifically look out for that individual. This then led to me thinking of the single brothers and sisters who never had children, and therefore, have no posterity either. I have thought a lot on family history lately and feel a need to dive in, but I haven't been sure where to start. Thanks to the new website, family history is much easier to navigate. I have decided that I will start by looking for people who may have fallen through the cracks. I am blessed that I have a large, faithful family and much work has been done. While there are lines to work on, we are several generations back. I want to find those who may have been forgotten and do their work. On Sunday, I found an infant child whose family members had been sealed but this child was not sealed. Some information is missing and therefore the work cannot continue. Enter Lizzie! :) I am looking forward to finding my family and doing the work for them.

Faith in Every Footstep

2010-06-02T17:48:00.000-05:00

So you may have noticed a slight decline in the consistency of posting. My apologies! What I have discovered is that I don't do a good job of maintaining a blog when life gets crazy.

So I have been rereading the Work and the Glory series. I have read this series at least 10 times and just love it! Each time I read it, I am impressed with the faith of the pioneers, the difficult tasks Joseph Smith and Brigham Young had, and I find myself appreciating the life I've been given. This time through, something that has stood out to me is the point the author makes about how Heavenly Father prepares us for life's struggles. He gives us opportunities to grow, line upon line, until we are strong enough to fulfill whatever is asked of us. This is evident when looking at the lives of Brigham Young or Joseph Smith. Small trials created opportunities for growth and then they were able to handle larger trials and bless others through the process. I am grateful that we have a Father who teaches us to walk before He asks us to run. And if we have to run, He will provide us the strength to endure.

Happy Memorial Day!

2010-05-31T10:00:00.000-05:00

There was a great talk in church on Sunday that contained information on the creation of Memorial Day and what it means. The speaker encouraged our ward to make sure those who have lost their lives for our freedom have had their temple work done and that we seek our records to ensure they have been cared for. This is a great idea and I would like to post his recommendation. What a blessing to live in this land of freedom and have the blessings of the Gospel!!!

NieNie

2010-05-30T17:13:00.000-05:00

If you haven't watched the video I posted a few weeks ago, I highly recommend that you do. It is about a remarkable woman, Stephanie Nielson (NieNie). I was introduced to her blog over a year ago by a dear friend who knew I would love it.
She had me read some of the early entries to get to know her a bit and then showed me youtube videos of the reporting of the event that changed NieNie's life. In reading her blog, NieNie appeared to be a pretty neat LDS woman who loved her husband and enjoyed making the most out of motherhood. Then she, her husband, and his flight instructor were in a plane crash that left her badly burned. Her husband was injured as well and the instructor was killed in the accident. I won't go into all the details of the crash, her recovery, or her life now. You can find all that on her blog. What I love about her story is that she epitomizes the "but if not" concept. She was a beautiful, vibrant woman who had committed her life to her Heavenly Father and was living a good life. Then she was injured and still suffers greatly through pain, surgeries, etc. Her blog entries have a depth to them now that wasn't evident before. She is in the fire and in the midst of her suffering, is choosing to remain faithful. Even though life is not turning out as she anticipated. Even though it would be easy to feel alone, isolated, and abandoned. She knows she has a Father who loves her and has not forsaken her and she continues to choose to worship Him and have faith in His purposes. I am grateful for NieNie's example and the path she is walking. I am grateful she allows us to participate in that walk with her. I appreciate examples of people who stand with God no matter what, even in the face of great pain and adversity, because that is what we have all been asked to do. From Elder Simmons' conference talk: "We must have the same faith as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego. Our God will deliver us from ridicule and persecution, but if not. . . . Our God will deliver us from sickness and disease, but if not . . . . He will deliver us from loneliness, depression, or fear, but if not. . . . Our God will deliver us from threats, accusations, and insecurity, but if not. . . . He will deliver us from death or impairment of loved ones, but if not, . . . we will trust in the Lord. Our God will see that we receive justice and fairness, but if not. . . . He will make sure that we are loved and recognized, but if not. . . . We will receive a perfect companion and righteous and obedient children, but if not, . . . we will have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, knowing that if we do all we can do, we will, in His time and in His way, be delivered and receive all that He has. I so testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

My New Life

2010-05-09T01:32:00.000-05:00

My New Life

Hey There...Wear Your Wedding Ring!

2010-04-20T23:08:00.000-05:00

Okay, so why do some men walk around without wedding rings? I can't think of any good reason for it.
Those of you that are single, you will understand what I am about to say. There is a behavior that occurs between single people when you meet someone. You smile, say hello, and sooner or later, you check the ring finger. It's nothing to be ashamed of, you are just checking who is in the club and who isn't. So why do some men mascarade as single men? I don't know one woman who doesn't wear a wedding band when she is married. I am just not sure how men can get away with it. That's all. Just sounding off.

Gratitude

2010-04-18T23:25:00.001-05:00

Do you ever have those times that you think, gosh, I love this church? I have been having that feeling the past few weeks.
I thought I'd make a list of things I am grateful for (specifically, things that are recently relevant). I am grateful for the knoweldge of the Gospel. So many people on this earth do not have the blessing of the Gospel in their daily life and I was blessed enough to be born into it. I am grateful for the plan of happiness and our opportunities to prove and be proven. I am grateful that Heavenly Father is so aware of me, my needs, my concerns, and that He cares. I am grateful that I am not alone in this world. Heavenly Father has provided many people to support and love me on this journey and I am grateful. I am grateful to be a supportive and loving person on another person's journey. Heavenly Father provides principles and lets us make our own choices. This can be fairly difficult if you are like me and want to always make the "right" decision. But I am grateful He allows us the freedom to figure out what that is. My family is amazing and I am blessed daily because of them...who could ask for more?

Missing Church...

2010-03-14T22:40:00.000-05:00

I find that when I miss church for a week, I feel a little out of sorts. My next week is a little more unorganized and I'm just a bit more cranky.
If I miss two weeks of church, it's just awful. I have moments when I just forget the eternal nature of my existence. It's not like I go rob a bank or anything, but I let the little things get to me. I just lose focus. And it usually comes out in me being mean and cranky to others. Well, this week I am going on missing 3 weeks of church in a row...it's no good. I've been sick for a few weeks and then got hit again this weekend with a different illness. So this week I hope to focus on doing things that will help me remember the fundamentals...I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father and He loves me. We are all His children and we all made a choice to be here on this earth. I am hoping if I can focus on this I can avoid some pitfalls.

Blog-o-sphere

2010-03-07T17:53:00.000-06:00

So I have been doing a little bit of looking around in the world of blogs.
It's fun to see the diversity of what is interesting to different people. We (I consider myself a blogger now) all have something we are passionate about and that comes out in the blogging. Something that I hope to get into someday are those recipe blogs. I LOVE the pictures and see myself as a person who likes to cook but I have no skill. I read some one's blog the other day and she talked about how she had been reinventing herself and what a freeing experience this was. I really like this concept because what it really is is coming into your own. I have a list of things that I want to be doing...they are not earth-shattering items, but I have always wanted to do them. I am not sure what is keeping me from it, but I am thinking about this...how to build up courage and do small things that will bring you joy?

Follow Up on Wedding...

2010-03-07T17:49:00.000-06:00

Just to follow up on my friend's wedding...it was gorgeous! She was amazing and her hubby is fabu! The extended families behaved themselves well, the decor was amazing, and the bride was fabulous! Congrats to them for finding each other and taking that next step...I am excited to support them in their new role.

But If Not...

2010-03-05T01:57:00.000-06:00

So I thought I would write a little bit about the name of the blog...
Elder Simmons gave a talk in General Conference (4/04) wherein he talked about Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego. "Centuries ago, Daniel and his young associates were suddenly thrust from security into the world—a world foreign and intimidating. When Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego refused to bow down and worship a golden image set up by the king, a furious Nebuchadnezzar told them that if they would not worship as commanded, they would immediately be cast into a burning fiery furnace. "And who is that God that shall deliver you out of my hands?" The three young men quickly and confidently responded, "If it be so [if you cast us into the furnace], our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand."...But then they demonstrated that they fully understood what faith is. They continued, "But if not, . . . we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up." That is a statement of true faith." Elder Simmons goes on and talks about faith and the promises of the Lord. When I first heard this talk, it hit me immediately. I studied it when it came out in the Ensign. I have highlighted, underlined, and circled the text of this talk to no end. What it means to me is that there are certain truths that I am grateful to know - truths like we have a Father in Heaven and a Savior who came to this earth. They know and love us and want us to be eternally happy. I know that the Council in Heaven really happened and we literally stood with righteous family members and defended the truth...we defended our God. And so with these (and many other truths) I recognize that much is expected of me. And I will do all that the Lord has for me to do. I have faith that what is His will will be done and I will be better for it. If it is different than my expectation, I will still serve God. So there ya go. I hope this clarifies things a bit. It is still one of my all time fav talks...to read the whole talk, click here.

The Tender Mercies of the Lord

2010-03-04T23:21:00.000-06:00

The Tender Mercies of the Lord

Sick and Wandering

2010-03-01T20:00:00.000-06:00

So I have been sick this past week...it's actually been just over a week and it's been the worst sickness of my life.
I cannot remember a time I have been as sick as this - super high fever, chills, no energy, inability to breathe, odd anxiety-ridden dreams...it's been MISERABLE! Some interesting lessons have come during this time, however. Some will hopefully pop up in blog entries over then next few weeks, some won't. And during the time in which I was sick, the earth was shook with a horrendous earthquake. People suffered.

I have faith in my Heavenly Father and I know that He has a purpose for me. I am struggling to know what that purpose is, though. The answer to this question usually comes through prayer, scripture study, and reflecting on my patriarchal blessing. And while I am in this process, I have been sick, which leaves lots of time for thinking (but usually the thinking isn't clear). I think what it boils down to is when I was younger and I thought about when I would be in my 30s, I assumed I would be married with kids. Now, I am faced with a different reality. I am not upset about this right now, just not sure what the picture looks like. I feel as though I have shattered glass in front of me and I am trying to create a beautiful vista yet I have no vision. I am not sure how to create what I cannot see. And I struggle.

You know, Moses led the people to the Red Sea and waited. I have always imagined that the Lord had Moses up to his nose on his tip toes in the water before the Sea was parted because He wants us to step forward in faith. I am all for that, I just want to make sure I step in the right direction. As I write this, I find myself wondering, what if that was not the "right" direction, but the direction Moses took and the Lord accepted the sacrifice and blessed him. Maybe had he stepped toward the charging chariots, they would have been cast aside. I don't know...I am not into rewriting scripture, but I guess I am wondering if the Lord has a specific path He wants me on or can I choose one of many paths and He will bless and sanctify that path? I am going to have to think about this...new thoughts make my head dizzy sometimes. :)

At the end of the day, however, this is one of those "but if not" moments. I will not lose faith because I don't see my life fitting the picture I once dreamed of, rather, I will go forward and see the Lord's vision for me and learn better how to walk with Him. Now if only I can figure out where to step... "O all ye that are spared because ye were more righteous than they, will ye not now return unto me, and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may heal you? Yea, verily I say unto you, if ye will come unto me ye shall have eternal life. Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I receive; and blessed are those who come unto me." (3 Ne 9:13-14)

Acquainted with God

2010-03-01T19:51:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking about Elder Neal A. Maxwell. I came to appreciate Elder Maxwell years after he was ordained as an apostle. I heard him speak in conference and never really knew what he was talking about...he was WAY over my head. People I loved and respected appreciated Elder Maxwell, and while I respected his position, I didn't really know him apart from the other Apostles. Then while at BYU, I read "A Disciple's Life: A Biography of Neal A. Maxwell" by Elder Hafen. In those pages, I read about the life of a man who understood suffering, faith, and my Savior. This book gave me perspective on Elder Maxwell. Now when I read through his previous books, talks, etc., I have a greater understanding for the messages he shared. Much of Elder Maxwell's understanding of the gospel is still over my head, but I do understand the emotion behind it. It seems great suffering tends to bring great depth and insight.

One of my favorite quotes comes from a member of the Martin handcart company (Francis Webster) in response to the sufferings they endured. "The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay, and I am thankful that I was privileged to come in the Martin handcart company." John Groberg said, "There is a connection between heaven and earth. Finding that connection gives meaning to everything, including death. Missing it makes everything meaningless, including life."

Because of the experiences of others, I feel as though I have come to understand suffering in a unique way. I have not survived illness or overcome major adversity. But I have held the hand of those who suffer. I have stroked their hair, kept them company, and considered it an honor to walk with them as they walk a difficult journey. I don't know when my time will come...my time to suffer, my time to learn, my time to die. But I am grateful for what I have come to know through others' sufferings.

I know that Heavenly Father lives, He loves us, and He knows us by name. He sees the parts of us we try to keep hidden and yet He asks us to "come unto Him." We are never alone in this journey. He will walk with us, if we let Him. One of my favorite poems:

Footprints
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD. When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life. This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me. The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.

Sick

2010-02-24T16:56:00.000-06:00

Okay, today I am sick. One of my friends used to say when she was sick that she was "dying ugly." That's how I feel...I am dying ugly. Luckily, I have family in the area that can bring me some soup because there is nothing worse than being sick and having no one around to sympathize.

Dum, Dum, Da Dum

2010-02-20T10:16:00.000-06:00

So I get to be in a friend's wedding this weekend. I know a lot of gals in my position get frustrated by the "always a bridesmaid" kind of mentality, but I feel a bit differently.
I am a big believer in marriage and family and am SO excited to support my friends as they make this important step in their life. Marriage is a big deal and I am thrilled they have found each other and are wanting to make that kind of a commitment!! One of the other bridesmaids is a divorcee who uses a lot of humor to deal with her bitterness...she is a great friend of mine and I think we will have a fabulous time standing up with the bride and keeping the mood light and fun. I have been a bit busy through her engagement and haven't been able to help in the way I would have liked. But I like to think that even if I wasn't as involved with the wedding, I can be supportive with the marriage. Friends need friends to help them work through the hard times of marriage. This is a role I think us single gals can take on - let us be advocates for marriage! Let us support our friends in marriage! In some ways I feel this is a service I can provide to show my Heavenly Father that while I am not saying "I do" yet, I am still taking His commandments seriously. So to you married folks out there - congratulations! And to those of us not fortunate enough to find our other half yet - this is a great time to have fun, laugh, keep things light, and enjoy the ride!

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-17T00:12:00.000-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day!
Okay, so I know I am a few days late, but I didn't want to let this holiday go without acknowledging it and celebrating it. I know that many single people get a bit bitter around this time and even talk about it being Single Awareness Day. But sometime at BYU, I realized that this was a day set aside to show love to others...not just a significant other, but family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. I am grateful for days we can set aside and show love to others. So have a great February and celebrate the love!!! :)

Friendship

2010-02-08T23:26:00.000-06:00

So I was visiting with my sister and her hubby the other day and was impressed with the role that friendship plays in marriage.
I mean, part of me still thinks that someday my prince will come on a white horse and sweep me away. I will know he is "the one" because of the "magic" that I feel, blah, blah blah. Again, I know this isn't reality but part of me thinks it is. What I noticed between my sister and her husband was that at the end of the long, exhausting, they both wish the could sleep for 3 years kind of a day, they are just really good friends who really want to be around each other. What a nice reminder that the basis of this important relationship is friendship!

A Lot To Learn

2010-01-30T23:26:00.001-06:00

While speaking with a guy friend of mine, he talked about how hard it is being a single male in the church. To be honest, I have never been really sympathetic to single men in the church. As women, we often feel powerless in dating situations with men being the ones that culturally initiate and set the tone of a dating relationship. So if a man is single, I have always assumed he wasn't dating enough, etc. (I know, I am not always the kindest person in the world.) But my friend talked about his frustrations and efforts and it re-opened my eyes to the fact that there are good men with good hearts that are struggling too. All in all, I guess I still have a lot to learn...

Utah Reminds...

2010-01-30T20:18:00.001-06:00

You know, one of the things I love about not living in Utah is that I don't constantly have reminders that I am single.
Don't get me wrong, I love Utah! I have lived in Provo and SLC and really appreciate all that Utah has to offer. However, there are always brides and 20 year-olds in love and as a 30 year-old, it gets exhausting. I love that here, I can go days without being reminded of my marital status. It's refreshing. I have officially entered my new, non-YSA ward and I love it! Everyone has been so friendly and helpful. There are FHE groups for singles so I am hoping to give that a try. I'll let ya know how it goes!!

Choosing Career Over Marriage???

2010-01-23T23:44:00.000-06:00

Okay, so a few years while I was in graduate school, a good friend of mine accused me of choosing a career over marriage. I was so offended that such a good friend, one who knows my heart, would say such a thing!
I must say, however, this year I have thought about that comment and find myself wondering if there is some truth to that. Now, let me be clear about something...it is not as though I have 10 temple-worthy men down on one knee in front of me and I am saying to them, "I don't think so...I'd rather have a career." And at the end of the day, I have never dated a man that I feel I can really follow...someone that can lead me if I miss a step and that I want to be with for eternity. But I do have a career. And it takes a lot of time. I am not always able to attend FHE or other such activities in my ward because I am working. This, in theory, could prevent me from meeting someone. But I think there is a larger issue at work here. I have not been feeling the ability to socialize lately. I am typically a very social person but have been going though a spell where I just don't feel like I have the energy to meet new people. Maybe this is me choosing a career over marriage, but I sure don't mean for it to. So how does a girl have a career AND find a husband? I certainly do not plan on sitting on my hope chest waiting for someone, but I am wondering how to find the balance between doing something fulfilling while not giving up on the ultimate long-term goal. And I am not sure I have the answer to this...just something I am pondering.

Prayer...The Lord Knows Us and Our Needs Before We Even Do

2010-01-23T23:21:00.000-06:00

Service

2010-01-23T22:47:00.000-06:00

One of the benefits of single life is that I have more flexibility. This week was a week of service for me.
I was able to help babysit my nephew, support my sister, assist with my mom, and give coworker a break. This week service was my part-time job. I have an aunt who definitely makes service her job. She is a widow (twice over) who spends her life in the service of others. She is an inspiration to me! This week, I asked her to help me find a bridesmaid dress I need to wear for a friend's wedding. She searched multiple stores and helped me do some other shopping. It may seem like no big deal but it was causing me stress and I appreciate the hours she gave me. And I am only one of many that she helped this week. I tease her that she is serving a service mission because of the amount of service she provides. I am grateful for the freedom to serve those around me.

Front Lines

2010-01-10T22:40:00.001-06:00

I think everyone has a thing about being single that is most difficult for them. For some it is not having a child, for others it's not having someone home who "gets" them. For me, it's having to be on the front lines.
When I was a girl, my mom stayed home and cleaned the home, baked cookies, was involved in my schooling, continued her education, raised us kiddos, etc. She was the cook. My dad was the soldier. He went out day after day and fought the battles of the world. My childhood was no fairytale, but I appreciate the roles my parents had. Both the cook and soldier are important in a battle. An army cannot move on an empty stomach and a cook needs someone to fight the battle. But the cook is protected. I want to be the cook. I want to be the one who creates a temple-like home so that my soldier can come home and feel refreshed, rejuvenated, and safe. I know this is idealistic and that many married couples don't have this luxury, but it's the thing I am dealing with. This is a but if not moment. I will be loved, protected, and cared for and serve my husband by having a spirit-filled home...but if not, I will continue to fight my battles in faith and find ways to be refortified. The Lord will surround me with loved ones and provide spiritual opportunities for me to learn and grow.

You Gotta Have Friends...

2010-01-10T22:29:00.000-06:00

...and family! So I talked to my bishop about what I can do to make moving into a family ward a bit easier and he asked me about my friendships.
One of the struggles of being single is that we are a little more transient than other groups...we move, try new things, and don't always have a home base. I have not done a very good job of establishing new relationships after my last move and I need to get better at that. I have always had great, strong, supportive friends and I miss that. But MAN, am I grateful for family. My family is a bit closer than most and I am grateful. My older sister came over to hang out tonight and we had a lot of fun. So the lesson that I learned today was to keep in touch with family and take advantage of their support. Friendships are important and hopefully I'll form some close by, but family is irreplaceable.

Step One...

2010-01-10T22:23:00.000-06:00

Today I tried the new ward. I gotta say, it was nice walking into church and being able to focus on the lesson and not wondering if I looked alright or feeling stupid about something I said to the guy that opened the door for me.
It was nice to be in a ward where there was diversity in people and variety in lessons. I am not knocking my single's ward, but I had a good experience in the new ward. What I kept thinking about was that this was a ward that could use me. There were people I could serve and places where my gifts might make a difference. It was a good start. And isn't it nice to know that Heavenly Father knows us and can use us in every setting?? I am appreciative of that knowledge.

Welcome!

2010-01-09T21:24:00.000-06:00

Welcome to my new blog! I am excited and a little intimidated to take on this project but I thought it would be helpful for me and maybe a little interesting for you. You see, I am an LDS lady with a good job and a fulfilling life. I have the opportunity to be of service to my parents, siblings, and ward. I am, however, single and turning 31 this year. To those of you who know, that means my time in the single's ward is over. While, to some extent, I am ready for this change, it is still a challenge. I haven't seen many people make this transition successfully yet. Some people go inactive; some people make quick, seemingly unfortunate marriage decisions...I am trying something different. And I hope it works. It's not about being bitter or angry, but rather about how to navigate these new, uncharted waters. I am not the first to be experiencing something I didn't expect so feel free to comment and help me learn from your experiences, related to single-ness or not. After all, President Hinckley would remind me that we are all more similar than not. "We will receive a perfect companion and righteous and obedient children, but if not,...we will have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ..."